The Gilded Clock
The clock ticked consistently, loudly, and ominously as the president of the Corporate Alliance of Banking looked down at Tony from his tall leather chair. “You have five minutes to convince me that I shouldn’t fire you on the spot,” the man said, setting an egg timer and placing it on his cedar desk.
“Okay,” Tony took a deep breath, “One, it wasn’t my fault, two, the squirrels bribed me, three, Mr. Michaelson didn’t stop me, and four, I really, really need this job.” The dual ticking of the timer and the shiny clock was starting to mess with his head. They were just out of sync, which stayed in the back of his mind like a puncturevine bur.
The president scoffed. “Vice President Michaelson has informed me of your conversation. He has made it clear that you were especially opaque about what you were planning for the office party, and were asking for his approval in the same manner as a whining dog. Of course he didn’t stop you. You never mentioned the potato cannons or the acorn guns.”
“Look, I just got caught up in the excitement! I’ve never gotten to plan such a big event before,” Tony pointed out. He sighed. “I know it got kind of out of hand-”
“Kind of out of hand?! You covered everyone in upper management with potatoes and acorns! You released hundreds of squirrels into the room! Furthermore, when I asked you to help clean up the place, you had a laughing fit for twenty minutes, then told me to stick an acorn up my butt!” The president stood, launching his chair against the wall. The clock swayed above it, but did not fall. The egg timer began clucking.
Tony slouched in his seat. “Sorry?”
The president stood stock still. “Sorry doesn’t even to begin to cover the amount of mayhem you unleashed.” His blackberry buzzed, and he glared at it. His gaze softened. “Excuse me,” he said, then left the room. Tony looked at the clock. Yup, still ticking. It was almost noon, which, on a normal day, meant he was about to get his lunch break. Today he doubted he would eat at all due to the stress. The door creaked open behind him.
“I had to take that,” the president said as he sat down again. He didn’t move it back forward. “If the earnings call wasn’t in a week, I’d fire you right now. As it stands, however, we need you working on those budget allowances, so you’ll be allowed to stay for now. Don’t let this happen again!” With that, the president of the Corporate Alliance of Banking began scooting his chair back towards his desk. Tony stood up and scurried out of the office. Mr. Michaelson was waiting just outside.
“So, how’d it go?” he asked, as he fell in step with Tony.
Tony took several deep breaths. “Oh, it was fine.”
Michaelson smiled. “Great! So can I count on you for the halloween party too? This time I’ll quadruple your monthly pay.” His face fell just a little as Tony shook his head. The Tony’s shoulders began to bounce, and he burst out laughing. He put an arm around Michaelson’s shoulders.
“The sky’s the limit!” he promised between chuckles. The two giggled in the elevator, thoroughly confusing the clerk who was also inside. They laughed all the way down to the first floor.